zach galifiankis

My favorites are the Chuck E Cheese & Axe quotes. (He's a burly, bearded man with slightly crazy eyes). He's in the fiona apple video I posted below.


"You know you're an alcoholic when the bartender knows your name... and you've never been to that bar before."
"Three years ago my sister was diagnosed with multiple personalities, and there's nothing funny about that. But she phoned me the other day...and my caller ID exploded."
"I wish there was a morning after pill for Denny's Moons over My Hammy."
"When you look like I do, It's hard to get a table for one at Chuck E. Cheese."
"That show 'The Amazing Race'- is that about white people?"
"I would start a revolution, but... I just bought a hammock."
"I want to move to India or Pakistan, and become a cab driver."
"My name's Zach Galifianakis... I hope I'm pronouncing that right."
"I just released a DVD. It's selling like whatever the opposite of 'hotcakes' is."
"At what age do you tell a highway it is adopted?"
"I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day in my fort."
"I want to open up a store for cross-dressers. I'll call it 'Susan B. Anthony'"
"I wear a lot of Axe bodyspray, but I live in a black neighborhood and it's called Ask. And if you don't get that you're not racist."