For those of you who haven't seen it. . .

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5883772879840922003&q=tom+cruise+oprah

dumb bitch

No one over at the msn group seemed to much care, but I'm still laughing:

Madonna issued a statement last month insisting her act was neither anti-Christian, sacrilegious or blasphemous. Rather it is a plea to the audience to encourage mankind to help one another and to see the world as a unified whole."I believe if Jesus were alive today, he would be doing the same thing," she said, adding that her specific intent was to bring attention to the extreme poverty in Africa.

Well, I disagree, Madonna. I think Jesus is rolling in His grave!!!

Quite Right, Slick.

This was one of my favorite commercials growing up. Watch it with sound.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upclJMOnlSs&mode=related&search=

"Destination: Sin City." A Poem. No, really.

Rain on, Michigan! Rain on!
I shan’t be with you long;
I go west
To claim my fortune.

Trudge on, my student-peers!
Seekers of wisdom & far-off dream money;
I take my leave
But I shall rejoin you.

There are lights brighter than here
And sounds softer than howling wind;
There are warm smiles from people
Who take your money with little rakes.

Artificial? Bah; what is artifice
Other than improving mere nature;
Keep your naked trees and chances of snow;
I embark for that city
Where we reckless folk go.

Geometry & babies: together at last!

I was watching Pink Panther (movie) and noticed in the credits an AWESOME name. I'm using it, so by reading the following you agree to not use this name.(My kids are going to hate me but what do I care):
Euclide. It's French. Apparently it's a boy's name, but I'll use it for a girl.
Oh, and don't think that the legal stuff above isn't binding.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of monkeys

It's scary how human the baby looks. Like an ugly human baby, granted, but still.

you look like a monkey and you smell like one too

This weekend should be exciting. Tomorrow's my 23rd birthday, which I have mixed feelings about. I just think 23 is too old. Too old for me, anyway. It works on some people. But, I'm going to a toga party on Saturday, which I've always wanted to do. I went to a toga party when I was 11, which was awesome, and hopefully this one'll be even better. Also, tomorrow marks one week since I've smoked. You have no idea how encouraging this is, b/c I've found the secret to quitting: make new friends who don't smoke & distance yourselves from those who do. This has its drawbacks for sure, since you might actually like your smoking friends better. And I know I'll start again (I'm going to Vegas in 2 weeks, so of course I'm going to smoke again), but it's nice to know that under the right circumstances it's doable.
Memorable birthdays for me:
6: had the flu & puked on my cake. But my b-day fell on Yom Kippur, so it evened out. (I have pictures of this. I'm wearing my brownie outfit and don't look happy.)
15: had my first cigarette. A Newport.
18: all alone at TAC b/c everyone was at the gala.
20: My first radiohead concert (technically the day before, but we were still there at midnite)
21: Brick's Kellar in D.C. Peed on the shoulder of the Beltway on my way home. Also had champagne at work (9 a.m. at the pharmacy)
22: studying for LSAT. Also, not allowed to drink that year. Boo hiss

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C65G5mm-17M&mode=related&search=family%20guy%20brian%20peter%20griffin

TV sucks

At my roommates' behest I sat and watched The Office (American) and Grey's Anatomy. Having seen the REAL The Office (British), not only was the American version not funny, it pissed me off bigtime. Bigtime. Wow. And Grey's Anatomy was so godawful boring and trite I wanted to jump out the window into a pile of broken glass. And these were the long-awaited season premieres! My introduction to these shows was when they had 3 months to pull out all the stops. And during The Office my roommate who loves it & has never seen the original version was laughing hysterically at the dumbest and most obvious-appeal-to-the-lowest-common-denominator bullshit. Sigh. There's nothing to do now- wait! I'm in law school! Maybe I should crack open a book, just for fun.

Well, since no one reads my blog anymore looks like I can just post any random thing that amuses me without feeling guilty. And here it is. I've been watching a lot of youtube.com and as I was searching for simpsons episodes, I somehow got sucked into the other dysfunctional Simpson family, aka The Newlyweds. My favorite line: Jessica, pouting outside the car as Nick Lachey gets into the driver's side: "Baby, when we were first married you used to always open the car door for me." Nick: "Yeah, well, when we were first married I was also getting laid."

My new favorite song: The Bagman's Gambit by the Decemberists: it's the ultimate spy/love story. here's the first verse:

On the lam from the law
On the steps of the Capitol
You shot a plainclothes cop on the ten o'clock
And I saw momentarily
They flashed a photograph, it couldn't be you
You'd been abused so horribly but you were there in some anonymous room
And I recall that fall I was working for the government
And in a bathroom stall off the National Mall
How we kissed so sweetly
How could I refuse a favor or two?
For a tryst in the greenery I gave you documents and microfilm, too. . .

The grass is always greener

I've spent the last 2 1/2 weeks sleeping on the floor, which, I'll admit, kinda sucked. So yesterday I got a bed & now I realize how lucky I had it, wanting to get up at 7 am every morning when my alarm went off.

you won't be disappointed

joeymagazine.com

Philosophy Lite- now, with fewer calories!

There's a 2 week class called Moral Foundations of the Law, led by the dean the 1st week, and co-led by Bork week 2. (Exciting! I'll get a chance to meet my idol! But...) The problem is, that when you have a forum of 70 people, mostly from different educational backgrounds & many professing different ideologies, you get nowhere unless A) The matter at hand is limited and clear, and B) terms are defined from the beginning.
Our scenario was about spelunkers-turned cannibals (spelunkers are starving to death in a cave & they get word over the radio that they will die of hunger before they can be rescued. They form a "social contract" whereby they agree to roll dice & eat the low-roller. They are rescued days later & tried for murder. This country only has 1 penalty for murder: death. Questions: Should they be found guilty of murder; is it hypocritical of the cheif justice {this case was appealed to the Supr. Ct. of that country} to say, guilty, but recommend executive clemency?, etc.) As you can imagine, we got a barrage of "I thinks" and "In my opinions" but there was almost nothing solid to refer to (cf "Do you have text for that?) I hate this class. 2 of my fellow TACers use it for a study hall. I kid you not: Hobbes' "state of nature" was being confused with St. Thomas' idea of a "natural right" WITH RECKLESS ABANDON and it was heartwrenching. Someone suggested that instead of murder, the spelunkers could have waited for the 1st person to die naturally and then eat him instead. Many objected. The dean, rightly, asked, "Do you object on moral grounds or from repugnagce to eating human flesh at all?" One student then made up some vague, unsubstantiated, and incorrect reference to "Aquinas, like, asserts that humans have, like, dignity and so you can't, like, eat their bodies under any circumstances." To which fellow TACer & I replied that a dead body is really just a corpse, so you're not eating a person. And if that's the only way you're going to live, you have the right to do it. Then some hotshot yelled angrily in our direction, "Well, I believe in the resurrection of the body! You can't eat a dead person."
Sigh. But wait- there's more!
"Humans don't naturally have dignity anyway," pipes up another. "It's a social construct."

Howdy

Here I am at Ave Maria School of Law. I just got an email 5 minutes ago officially telling me that Notre Dame will not be able to accept me. Ha! As if I would want to go to a dump like that! I don't know where they ever got the idea I was interested..... anyway, I like Ann Arbor. My roommates are wonderful, as is my apartment, and I extend an open invitation to everyone to come and visit. Almost everyone. I've alreay developed a reputation here for sleeping through orientation lectures. Yesterday I woke up to hear the head librarian saying, I assume in some context, "Everyone go to the stacks and find a treatise!" I snorted awake and jumped up with everyone else and grabbed a book called "Law of Fraud." I showed it to the nice lady and she approved, so I went back to sleep. Law school's weird.
I also got stung by a wasp and I won an Ave Maria School of Law bath towel (MSRP: $19.99) for knowing the correct answer to how far away from buildings we can smoke. That's it for now.

I learned something interesting. Everyone knows that quote from Henry IV "First, kill all the lawyers." But did you know that that was not a criticism of lawyers, but, in context, was referring to how to create anarchy? I looked it up & to be honest I couldn't find proof, but I'm going to read it again more slowly to be sure. It reminds me of another oft misinterpreted Shakespeareanism. "If music be the food of love, play on! Give me excess of it.." I have that on a mug w/ happy cherubic child-lovers swinging gaily on flower-covered swings. But, read on! "That, in the surfeit, it (love) may sicken, and so die."

Still alive, just nothing much to say. Rosie & Adam's wedding was lovely. I'm finishing Brothers K after reading it steadily for about 6 or 7 months.

You Take Your Car

I'm having a midlife crisis. Except it's more of a "I've spent the better part of 5 years in SoCal & I haven't done anything cool" crisis. So, I've taken up basketball & surfing. With the basketball, it's more like, I learned how to throw the ball at the hoop correctly & I practice that a lot, but I'm not very good at executing it. And for the surfing, ok, I only did it once, but it was the most fun I've ever had in my life. I felt like Gidget. I said words like dude and rad. I caught waves and stood up on my board each time, even though I only lasted about 3-4 seconds each time. I sang that Weezer song as I carried my board to the beach. I swam with dolphins. No one who hasn't tried it knows the rush of getting up on the board, knowing that the only way you're going to come back down again is when you get your ass knocked down by mighty Mother Nature face first into jagged rocks. Knowing this to be the case, you do it anyway. Why? Because it's there, I guess. Nuts to law school.* I want to be a beach bum.

*Ok, not really.

Happy birthday, Marian, wherever you are!

The Legacy

For those of you who didn't attend Chez Martin, there was a "tribute" skit to John Marie that would have brought a tear to your eye. A couple, all dressed up, go to dinner at a nice restaurant and as they look over their menu, eat, drink wine, etc., a curious thing happens. Over. And over. And over. A light bulb & shade is suspended from a beam (this is in the commons) and hanging down is a thin rope. The light is on. On either side of the room is a set of three young men, dressed in collared white shirts & bow ties, on their knees, facing each other. One set crawls on hands & knees to the light, one pulls the rope to turn off the light. As they turn around to crawl back, the other three crawl towards the light and pull the string to turn it back on. As they turn around to crawl back, the other team moves in. This goes on for about ten minutes. At the end, the couple leaves the restaurant (of course oblivious the whole time to the lamp shenanigans) Daniel Lendman, the waiter, reads, in Italian, from Plutarch and Dante. The end.
It was lovely.